Ek Virus Ki Mann Ki Baat

My Fellow World Population,

Since some of the powerful people in the world are writing letters, eulogizing their own achievements on the completion of one year of coming to power, I thought I should also write a letter. I know, I m a bit early, but then you know I spread faster than their lies and honestly after six months and 217+ countries I think I have achieved enough to celebrate a bit early.

Around this day in Dec 2019 began a golden chapter of my journey. It was after several decades that the people of the world got to face a pandemic of this magnitude.

Once again, I bow to the 750 crore people of the world and their collective stupidity. If the world would have been focusing on important things like technology, infrastructure and research related to healthcare, sharing of information, conserving ecosystem, investing in sanitation, then I would not have been in your midst. However, the present circumstances are different. So here I m, in the midst of all of you.  

Your focus on blaming each other, confused strategy of complete lock downs and sudden opening ups, complete unpreparedness to handle a pandemic, having megalomaniacs as head of states has given me new energy and inspiration. The way some of you have come up with innovative ideas to drive me away by lighting Diyas, Banging Thala, injecting disinfectants into human body, singing “Go Corona Go”  will remain the guiding light for the whole world.

My Fellow World Population,

In the last six months I have been able to bring down environmental pollution. The level of Nitrogen Dioxide has reduced by almost 40% in industrial areas of Asia & Europe. Due to my concerted effort you can see clearer blue sky, watch far away mountains from your terrace, breath fresh air and swim in clean rivers. Wild animals are roaming on the street and someone even shared a picture  of dinosaurs also coming back.  Noise pollution has gone down drastically, and the world is a better place to live in, I mean if you survive my onslaught.

My Fellow World Population,

I have also helped empower the poor. Even after almost seven decades of independence and sincere, well intentioned efforts by political leaders across party lines the poor people in countries like India were struggling for basic amenities. Thanks to me now they are Atmanirbhar.

Thanks to my Corona Corporate Samman Nidhi Yojana, world over organizations can get more work done incurring less cost. Several corporate friendly Concepts like “Furlough”, “Work From Home” hitherto implemented by large corporations for a select few are now common place. I have also ensured that now the line between personal and professional has been blurred completely and organizations have employees at their disposal 24*7.

We have broken record in terms of time taken to implement IT adaptation. What took Mark, Bill, so many CTOs and different political party IT heads years to drive, I could drive it in less than 6 months.

My “Swaccha Haath Yojana” has ensured that every individual across the globe will spend the entire year washing hands. Of course with job losses and lockdowns, they anyways don’t have much work to do.

Dear Friends,

At a time when there is  a widespread debate on how the economies of various countries will survive, I have helped various countries by boosting economy through production and selling of more masks, ventilators, PPE kits, sanitizers and disinfectants.

For sometime now United State has been boasting about its economic supremacy and its preparedness for all kinds of attacks including bio warfare. I have been able to expose their vulnerability, and this will help in bringing world peace. I strongly believe the jury must consider me for a Nobel for World Peace. China has been a hub for manufacturing both equipment and lies. With Corona Outbreak it has been exposed. The less I said about WHO, the better – they let the Corona out.

Thanks to me, there is a visible growth in entertainment industry. Before I assumed power stand up comedians used to entertain people, now state premiers do that, some prefer the morning slot, some the 8PM slot. I have also helped in driving innovation. In fact your respective HR teams across organizations are playing a big role in implementing it. I stand in awe when I look at their ability to innovate. In less than two months they could come up with concepts like Virtual Rangoli, Virtual Talent Show and Virtual connect, reconnect and irritate people till they leave you.

The world for so many years has been grappling to drive gender equality. In less than six months I have been able to implement it. Men, who refused to learn household chores for ages, have now become pro in it. There is significant fall in crime rate, fatalities on the road and suicide.

The list of such historic actions taken in World interest would be too long to detail in this letter.

Dear Friends,

I bow to your stupidity and ego once again. My writer has also written a Sanskrit Sloka. But then I m a Chinese virus. So I have deleted it. My heartfelt wishes to you and your family.

Stay Healthy… ROFL

Yours Covid19

Thappad

#Thappad : A good film asks questions, makes one introspect and challenges one to have conversation around the topic. In that sense Anubhav Sinha, post his comeback, is making one film after another, that are putting uncomfortable questions out in the open. If Mulk was about Islamophobia and Article 15 was about a deep-rooted caste system, his latest offering Thappad is about the privileges men enjoy in this country in the name of patriarchy.  

When was the last time we felt uncomfortable watching the female member in the family managing entire household as well as their career and yet being frowned upon for making the smallest mistakes , while the men  get away with everything by pretending to be busy with their career. When was the last time we felt guilty for raising our voices against the females in our home. That is how privileged we have been and that is how we have been brought up in a patriarchal society. And that is why Sinha’s Thappad makes us introspect. It may be “Just a Slap”. It may be inadvertent; it may be the first time, but none of us have any right to raise our hand. Sinha’s film is more about the entitled mindset that we, the Indian men possess than about domestic violence.

The writing is extremely smart and nuanced, probably the best in recent times. It brings out the male privilege and gender insensitivity beautifully without sounding shrill. Vikram, the night after slapping Amruta, comes  to her and tells her that he was stressed and then goes on to explain his problems in office , how he had worked hard and yet had been denied the opportunity he deserved. The conversations between Vikram and Amrita has been written beautifully. Vikram , while talking about his job, tells Amrita that he doesn’t want to stay and work in a place where he is not valued and how one must put his foot down in life and how he has invested so much in the job. And all this while he remains oblivious of the fact that Amrita is also going through the exact same emotion as far as their marriage is concerned. He thinks it was just a slap and he even tries to make up for it by taking her out for dinner and buying her gift. It goes to a point where one starts identifying with Vikram and even goes to the extent of believing that probably Amruta is stretching it too far. Because that’s what we have learnt while growing up. Because we have seen our mothers, grandmothers or sisters adjusting at every step and accepting the behaviours they shouldn’t be. And that has become normal for us. Not for once have we questioned it. And that is where Thappad forces you to go back and introspect. Sinha, through the story of Amrita, actually exposes the story of almost every household. Vikram isnt evil. He is just like you and I , an entitled Indian Male.

The other interesting aspect of Thappad is the performances of each of its cast and the brilliant direction. Be it Kumud Mishra , as the supportive father or Pavel Gulati as the husband or Tanvi Azmi as mother in law and Ratna Pathak Shah as the mother , each one of them have played their part to perfection. Taapsee Pannu, as the vulnerable yet strong Amrita has done a phenomenal job.

Thappad’s triumph lies in the fact that it affects one deeply. It beautifully explores how we normalize patriarchy and exposes a myopic mindset. I will go out with 4 out of 5 for this terrific film. If you are one among us ,an entitled Indian Man, then do yourself a favour ,go and watch Thappad. And then go back ,look into the mirror and introspect. If the realisation comes ,which I m sure will, if you have your heart in the right place ,then go ,say sorry and if necessary reboot that life and all that you have learnt by watching the men around while growing up.