My Fellow World Population,
Since some of the powerful people
in the world are writing letters, eulogizing their own achievements on the
completion of one year of coming to power, I thought I should also write a
letter. I know, I m a bit early, but then you know I spread faster than their
lies and honestly after six months and 217+ countries I think I have achieved
enough to celebrate a bit early.
Around this day in Dec 2019 began
a golden chapter of my journey. It was after several decades that the people of
the world got to face a pandemic of this magnitude.
Once again, I bow to the 750
crore people of the world and their collective stupidity. If the world would
have been focusing on important things like technology, infrastructure and
research related to healthcare, sharing of information, conserving ecosystem,
investing in sanitation, then I would not have been in your midst. However, the
present circumstances are different. So here I m, in the midst of all of you.
Your focus on blaming each other,
confused strategy of complete lock downs and sudden opening ups, complete unpreparedness
to handle a pandemic, having megalomaniacs as head of states has given me new
energy and inspiration. The way some of you have come up with innovative ideas to
drive me away by lighting Diyas, Banging Thala, injecting disinfectants into
human body, singing “Go Corona Go” will remain
the guiding light for the whole world.
My Fellow World Population,
In the last six months I have
been able to bring down environmental pollution. The level of Nitrogen Dioxide
has reduced by almost 40% in industrial areas of Asia & Europe. Due to my
concerted effort you can see clearer blue sky, watch far away mountains from
your terrace, breath fresh air and swim in clean rivers. Wild animals are
roaming on the street and someone even shared a picture of dinosaurs also coming back. Noise pollution has gone down drastically, and
the world is a better place to live in, I mean if you survive my onslaught.
My Fellow World Population,
I have also helped empower the
poor. Even after almost seven decades of independence and sincere, well
intentioned efforts by political leaders across party lines the poor people in
countries like India were struggling for basic amenities. Thanks to me now they
are Atmanirbhar.
Thanks to my Corona Corporate
Samman Nidhi Yojana, world over organizations can get more work done incurring less
cost. Several corporate friendly Concepts like “Furlough”, “Work From Home” hitherto
implemented by large corporations for a select few are now common place. I have
also ensured that now the line between personal and professional has been
blurred completely and organizations have employees at their disposal 24*7.
We have broken record in terms of
time taken to implement IT adaptation. What took Mark, Bill, so many CTOs and
different political party IT heads years to drive, I could drive it in less
than 6 months.
My “Swaccha Haath Yojana” has
ensured that every individual across the globe will spend the entire year
washing hands. Of course with job losses and lockdowns, they anyways don’t have
much work to do.
Dear Friends,
At a time when there is a widespread debate on how the economies of
various countries will survive, I have helped various countries by boosting
economy through production and selling of more masks, ventilators, PPE kits,
sanitizers and disinfectants.
For sometime now United State has
been boasting about its economic supremacy and its preparedness for all kinds
of attacks including bio warfare. I have been able to expose their vulnerability,
and this will help in bringing world peace. I strongly believe the jury must
consider me for a Nobel for World Peace. China has been a hub for manufacturing
both equipment and lies. With Corona Outbreak it has been exposed. The less I said
about WHO, the better – they let the Corona out.
Thanks to me, there is a visible
growth in entertainment industry. Before I assumed power stand up comedians
used to entertain people, now state premiers do that, some prefer the morning
slot, some the 8PM slot. I have also helped in driving innovation. In fact your
respective HR teams across organizations are playing a big role in implementing
it. I stand in awe when I look at their ability to innovate. In less than two
months they could come up with concepts like Virtual Rangoli, Virtual Talent Show
and Virtual connect, reconnect and irritate people till they leave you.
The world for so many years has
been grappling to drive gender equality. In less than six months I have been
able to implement it. Men, who refused to learn household chores for ages, have
now become pro in it. There is significant fall in crime rate, fatalities on
the road and suicide.
The list of such historic actions
taken in World interest would be too long to detail in this letter.
Dear Friends,
I bow to your stupidity and ego
once again. My writer has also written a Sanskrit Sloka. But then I m a Chinese
virus. So I have deleted it. My heartfelt wishes to you and your family.
Stay Healthy… ROFL
Yours Covid19
